We rolled the (very small) bbq to the curb and I pulled the Accord alongside to the smirks of the self-impressed WallyWorld door boy. "It won't fit."
It won't fit. No offer to help. No movement from his post. No suggestion. Just "It won't fit." (I wanted to tell him that his blue vest didn't fit...or something like that.)
The lady sales clerk and I looked at each other and thought in silent unanimity, "Wanna bet?" Together we lifted sideways, thinking we would slide the (very small) bbq on its side into the back seat.
No go. It wouldn't fit.
Not to be discouraged, we looked at the trunk. Honda engineers are truly geniuses. They build this cute little car with great gas mileage (and a sunroof!), and STILL remember to include a HUGE trunk.
Out came the survival kit, the window washing fluid, the golf clubs, the ever-present black down vest, the tool box, a file of unknown origin with rather important looking papers inside, a squished Kleenex box, 12 maps, two items I have meant to return to Target for over a year (wonder if the Wally-gals would notice they didn't come from their store??? Hmmm, nah, not worth the effort), and finally, two spoons, a hose bib and several red rocks from a hike I took over a month ago.
Together my new best friend and I lifted the (very small) bbq and tilted it carefully into the trunk at a gentle angle, carefully placing it so as not to break off the wings or the cute little mesh drawer on the front. Once settled in the trunk, we looked for the bungee cords that should have been in my trunk, but they were not to be found (with all that stuff, no bungee cords. Ridiculous. This might have been the ONE moment I wished I was a man. Men always have bungee cords).
As we glanced back at the now oblivious man-child in the silly blue vest (of course he wasn't going to watch when IT FIT!), we noticed a grocery cart rolling from less than a foot away from him and heading into the parking lot - and a parked car. Did he notice? Of course not! (I wonder what they pay these guys)
My friend and helper ran to get the cart (her blue vest fit perfectly) and I took one last glance into the trunk, wondering if the (very small) bbq was going to stay put on the 10 block drive home. My gaze landed on about 1/4 inch of sparkling white. VOILA! EUREKA! I hadn't found gold, but I pulled at the end of that white something and realized that I had found a 12 inch piece of white ribbon, probably left over from some frantic last minute gift I wrapped in my car.
I tied the sparkling "bungee" around a leg of the (very small) bbq, threaded it through two holes in the hood interior and I was set.
I thanked my newest best friend (Sonia) and smiled triumphantly at the overpaid, blue-vested Doubting Tom and off I went.
I love being a woman. We simply don't know what "It won't fit" means.
Not only that, we can take 12" of white ribbon and create everything from a dog leash to a bungee cord to a bracelet to sandals to a new hairdo. And give us a pair of scissors and we will even make it curly! Ok, so it's not duct tape, but it's close.
And that was my day at WallyWorld.
I may go back tomorrow...with a white ribbon in my hair.