SANTA's jolly, but I'm just PHAT

My daughter gave me a little sign over the holidays that reads as follows: "Why is it that on SANTA it's considered JOLLY...but for the rest of us it's just plain old fat?!?!"

A valid question and exactly my point...why is it?!?

And now we have the health/diet gurus telling us that LOWER body fat is good for us. So, the pear's are safe, but where does that leave all the apples?

Personally, I would be very happy being a jolly apple if society didn't prefer bland celery sticks, but society does prefer celery sticks so I am not a jolly apple at all. Truth be told, I am more overripe than jolly. Seeing sticklike figures on every billboard, magazine and movie/TV show kind of dampens the spirit - but not for long.

Why? Because "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" is my motto (at least until I become a celery stick) and then I will passionately adapt the mantra of all bland-nonchalant stick's, which is "Lunch? Just celery for me, please."

But until then, Santa can be jolly, nonchalant sticks can walk the runways, and apples can keep the doc at arms length, but as for me (and my body) we will serve pasta anytime we want.

Yes we will. And we will balance the pasta-anytime with healthy foods, moderation in all things, and movement.

Yes, I said it, movement.

We will move our bodies and improve our lives and health and mental state by doing so. And we will replace fat with PHAT. And we will embrace our PHATness with passion and pride, because no matter what the magazines say, some things are just better that way.

It's time for apples to unite. Let the pears continue down their road to suddenly recognized lower-body-fat-health, but we will change course. It's time to take charge, it's time to take initiative, it's time to look Santa in the eye, pat his belly and walk away.

It's time for PHAT apples to shine.

So, step high, slap your thighs, and bon appetit!

I'll see you at lunch.