Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Elated Exhaustion

What happens when you combine lack of sleep with uber-multitasking, emotional turmoil, financial challenges and then also factor in: limited time, energy and resources?

Fatigue. Exhaustion. Stress. High blood pressure. Beta Blocker. (note the absence of "meltdown" - I consider this a personal triumph of great importance!)

Yeah, I'm tired, yeah I am now on meds, but I am not having a meltdown, on the verge of a breakdown, doomed to an eternal money pit, unable to pay my bills, unemployed, in pain or dying of brain cancer.

I am just tired. Well, maybe a bit stressed too, and out of shape, but mainly I am just tired. I tend to burn the candle from both ends, and have for as long as I can remember. You would think I would learn.

And I do learn, but then I forget and suffer the consequences. However, life has it's ups and downs and over the years I have learned to simply roll along. Everything seems to work itself out over time, one way or another, and karma reigns supreme. I truly believe that whole "what goes around comes around" philosophy that I blogged about a while back: Be good to others and goodness will come to you, be honest with others and honesty will be returned to you, stop exercising and taking care of yourself and high blood pressure and excess weight will be your reality, start exercising and eat better and improved health will suddenly make you feel younger. It's one of those eternal laws - karmic by nature, self-induced in practice.

So, it's time to take corrective steps and move forward. And I am doing just that.

I love my life, I believe in the good of people, I trust my gut, I am taking steps to correct weaknesses and flaws in myself, and I am elated that tomorrow is just around the corner. I am making better decisions, I am collecting the pieces and putting them together, I am eating better and moving more, I am snuffing out one end of the candle, and I am ready to hit the road with a better attitude and healthier body.

After doing all that I can, I will watch for 'it' to come around, and it's already started: blood pressure and weight are dropping, truth, kindness, honesty and respect are returning, laughter is increasing. It feels like me again. It feels like my life again. It feels like today. I love today, hope for tomorrow and treasure yesterday. I am excited about life and am preparing to continue to hit it head on for a very long time - in shape, in a good mood, with the right attitude. One candle burning, from one end only, at a time.

But first, I am going to take a nap (and dream of a marathon finish line and a multi-candle dinner). Zzzzzzzzzzzzz...............

No comments:

Post a Comment